(TW: Self H, ED, Su!cide) Two days ago, I had a mental health crisis.

I was first diagnosed with depression at 13, when I tried to take myself out of the picture for the first time. I started therapy and haven't really been able to be without a therapist ever since: every time I tried, things got dramatically worse. At 15, I was diagnosed with Bulimia and Anorexia, and all I wanted was to not exist anymore. This is a thought that accompanies me until today, almost everyday. I've learned to see this as an…

I don't know if it's a German epidemic, but I know SO many people with burnout, it's scary. My inner circle (aka my chosen family) is mostly made of overachieving people-pleasers in recovery, and we all struggle to embrace rest as part of self-care. 

The difference is that I'm the only one in my group who can't work due to health reasons. I've been unable to work since 2022 because of how badly my Complex PTSD and Fibromyalgia got. Cognitive issues, sleep problems, panic attacks, body aches and paralysis…

Sadness is a part of life, yet when it comes we usually run away from it. Few of us actually allow ourselves to cry and feel our emotional pain. We have tons of coping mechanisms, including food, sex, shopping, anti-anxiety medications (and other drugs), binge-watching, gaming, drinking and even working. Anything is better than truly feeling our sad feelings, right? 

But what happens once we watch the final episode of that series? Or when we wake up the next morning hungover? Or when we finally stop gaming…

Feeling triggered is the worst. We're out there, having a normal day when suddenly something happens - someone says something, we smell something, see something - and BAM!, our hearts start racing, our mind goes back in time and we can't think clearly anymore. To anyone seeing us having this reaction, it makes no sense. Nothing happened! And yet our pain is real and getting out of a trigger can seem nearly impossible. Since there are enough articles helping us deal with triggers, I won't go there right now…